Prime Time Crime

(Letter to the Editor Prime Time Crime Feb. 21, 2005)

Since the Federal Government's major reason for paroling federal inmates is based on cost and the nauseating,  "we can't keep them locked up forever" argument.  I propose that we cut costs by eliminating all halfway houses in the country and recruit all MP's, Cabinet Minsisters, senators, Judges and likeminded ( I was tempted to say weak minded) citizens and prepare a "Bleeding Hearts Databank".  Maybe we could call it a "Sponsorship program" for the whole country, not Just Quebec.

The BHD would gather the home addresses of  "exemplary citizens", such as the Federal Justice Minister, and all other guardians of the secrets on how to reform the criminal mind.  Parolees would then be placed in these homes and we could expose these misunderstood people to the vastly expanded minds of this country.

Since we know that very few parolees re-offend there would be very little chance of anything going wrong and "minor breaches" such as drug induced, hysterical fits of rage and violence could be closely monitored by our free spirited liberal friends.  After all, the rights of the individual parolees are important and we should expose them to the very best we have to offer.

We could cut vehicle theft rates by 75 to 80% by simply providing parolees with a set of keys to their hosts' family vehicle.  Rather than have the Inmates tattoo parlours inside Federal Correctional Institutions they could be run out of these homes.  Imagine the tax write offs. 

Based on the YCJA, it appears as if our current Government is looking to a new Crime fighting model.  The model is so revolutionary that very few people understand it.   Only a genius could come up with a formula like this.  Give Young offenders warnings when they commit crimes, make it impossible for a youth to see a Judge's face, take away the Crown's ability to remand Y.O. and then tell the public that the law is a fine piece of legislation and is working as intended.  You have to remember to tell the public how youth crime has decreased since the inception of the Act.  Then you have to tell the public that the reason that property and violent crimes sky rocketed is because homeless, drug addicted adults had to steal  and rob because there wasn't enough free Government heroine being handed out.  Remedy the situation by expanding this program and give free heroine to anybody who wants it. 

In order to enhance the effectiveness of this program, you must make sure that detractors (tax paying, level headed, decent and honest Canadians) are silenced.  Fisrt you must make sure that the Top Cop in the Country, the Commissioner of the RCMP, is made a deputy cabinet minister in the Federal Government.  Once this figure head becomes part of Government, no criticism of existing laws can come from this position.  With no objections from the National Police Force, it's clear sailing.

Some liken the model to Anarchy but policy makers refer to it as far more superior than Anarchy, "it's really a step above" one could be quoted as saying.  You still have laws but you just don't enforce them.  Brilliant !!!

C.J. on the East Coast

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